“What do you want?”
“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
Galatians 1:10
One of my favorite questions to ask my clients is, “What do you want?”
It seems like the answer should be obvious. But for many people—it’s not. When we slow down and really sit with that question, things start to feel a little fuzzy. And if we probe a little more, we often uncover why.
We live in a world full of noise, information, and distractions. Everyone and everything seems to be telling us who to be, how to think, and what should matter most. Add to that our relationships. Where we’re often trying to meet the needs of others first, and it’s easy to lose sight of our own desires. The Christian way is to serve, after all. But what truly drives the answer to that question, “What do you want?”
The answer is: values.
It’s awfully hard to set a boundary—or even know when one is needed—if we don’t know what we value. If we’re unsure of what we want, it’s usually a sign that we haven’t taken an intentional approach to discerning our values.
So, What Are Values, Really?
Values are the principles, beliefs, or ideals that a person or group considers important and that guide their behavior and decisions.
Your values act like an internal compass, pointing you toward what feels right, peaceful, and aligned. They influence nearly everything—your faith, relationships, parenting, career, health choices, and even how you spend your time and money.
Examples of values include honesty, compassion, faith, family, gratitude, justice, and integrity.
When your choices align with your values, life feels more peaceful and purposeful. When they don’t, you’ll notice inner tension, resentment, confusion, or even burnout.
Life gets a lot clearer when your values and boundaries are rooted in, and aligned with, God’s truth.
What Does God Value?
If we want to align our hearts with His, we have to know what He values. Scripture tells us that God values:
Love: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart… and love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:37–39)
Truth: “The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy.” (Proverbs 12:22)
Humility: “He has shown you… what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God.” (Micah 6:8)
Justice and mercy: God’s heart beats for compassion, fairness, and care for the vulnerable.
Faithfulness and obedience: “If you love me, keep my commands.” (John 14:15)
God’s values are consistent and eternal, and if we are wise, they are the standard by which we should measure our own lives.
How Do I Align My Values With God’s?
Start by reflecting on what currently matters most to you. Then, hold those values up to Scripture and ask:
Does this value draw me closer to God or further from Him?
Does it help me love others better, or feed pride, fear, or control?
Does it reflect God’s truth or the world’s expectations?
When we invite the Holy Spirit into this process, He lovingly convicts, redirects, and refines our hearts so that our values reflect more of His.
Practical steps:
Spend time in prayer asking God to show you His values and how you are currently reflecting them.
Ask Him to show you what you value. (Hint: Examine your calendar and what you actually spend time on).
Journal about what gives you peace or tension.
Identify areas where you’re living out of alignment and make small course corrections.
Why Should I Align the Two?
Aligning our values with God’s values brings lasting peace and fulfillment. God’s value system and chaos cannot co-exist becuse He is a God of order and stability.
When your values and God’s values are connected, your decisions become simpler, your relationships healthier, and your boundaries clearer. You stop living from reaction and start living from conviction, and that breeds confidence that you’re going the right way!
It also protects you from people-pleasing and burnout. When you know your “why” and it’s rooted in God’s truth, you no longer need everyone else’s approval because you already have His.
What Role Do Boundaries Play in God’s Value System?
Boundaries are how we live out our values.
If you value peace, you’ll guard your time and energy.
If you value honesty, you’ll speak truth even when it’s hard.
If you value faith, you’ll create space for prayer, rest, and connection with God.
God Himself models boundaries—He rested on the seventh day, He often withdrew from crowds to pray, and He didn’t say “yes” to every person or request. His boundaries reflected His mission and values.
In the same way, our boundaries become holy expressions of the things that matter most. They help us love others without losing ourselves, serve without resentment, and follow Christ without distraction.
When you know your values—and align them with God’s—you gain the clarity and courage to say “yes” to what matters and “no” to what doesn’t. That’s the foundation of a peaceful, purposeful, Christ-centered life.
