Boundaries at Work
When You Work with a Bully: Responding with Grace, Peace, and Boundaries Rooted in Truth
Have you ever had a coworker who seemed to make your day harder just by walking into the room?
Someone who criticizes everything you do, undermines your authority, or seems to thrive on tension?
I know that feeling well.
Years ago, I worked for a Fortune 500 company in Human Resources. My job was to help people work better together—ironic, since one of my coworkers seemed determined to do the opposite.
She was combative, dismissive, and constantly undercutting me in meetings. Even worse, our boss inexplicably sided with her, leaving me feeling powerless and unseen.
I remember sitting in my car after work, gripping the steering wheel, praying for patience. “God, how do I love this person without losing my peace?”
That season taught me one of the most important lessons of my professional (and spiritual) life:
You cannot control another person’s behavior—but you can control how you respond.
And that’s where spiritual and emotional boundaries come in.
The Problem: When Boundaries Are Missing
Without emotional boundaries, workplace conflict can consume us.
We replay conversations in our heads, feel anxious before meetings, and carry that stress home to our families.
We start believing lies like:
“If I could just be nicer, maybe she’d respect me.”
“It’s my fault things feel so tense.”
“Good Christians don’t get angry.”
But God doesn’t call us to be passive. He calls us to be peaceful. There’s a big difference.
Jesus Himself modeled boundaries beautifully.
He didn’t chase approval, overexplain Himself, or try to convince everyone to like Him.
He was firm in truth, gentle in spirit, and anchored in His identity.
That’s the model we’re invited to follow.
How to Respond to a Workplace Bully
(with Grace and Boundaries)
1. Pause and Regulate Before You React
When someone’s words or actions sting, your body goes into survival mode—heart racing, muscles tensing, thoughts spinning.
That’s when boundaries start inside, not outside.
Before responding:
Take a slow breath in through your nose, out through your mouth.
Offer a short prayer: “Lord, help me respond with wisdom, not emotion.”
Give yourself permission to take space. “Let’s circle back to this after I’ve had time to think.”
Self-regulation doesn’t mean suppressing emotion. It means stewarding it.
2. Don’t Give Your Power Away
Bullies thrive on reaction. The more emotional energy you give them, the more power they hold over your peace.
Remember:
You don’t have to match their tone.
You don’t have to prove your worth.
You don’t even have to fix them.
Your value doesn’t depend on their approval. It’s already secure in Christ.
When you stay calm and composed, you shift the dynamic. You show that their chaos can’t control your peace.
3. Communicate Clear, Respectful Boundaries
Once you’ve grounded yourself, speak truth with grace. Boundaries are not about punishment—they’re about clarity and protection.
You might say:
“I’d like to keep our discussion focused on the task, not personal comments.”
“Let’s agree on a process that helps us both succeed.”
“I value professionalism and respect in this space.”
Boundaries invite accountability without hostility.
4. Stand Firm in Truth
Ephesians 6:14 reminds us to “stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist.”
When you know who you are in Christ, you no longer need to win every argument or defend yourself endlessly.
You can trust God to be your defender and to handle what’s beyond your control.
Standing firm doesn’t mean being rigid. It means being rooted.
The Peace That Comes from Practicing Boundaries Daily
Over time, I learned to stop absorbing my coworker’s negativity.
Her behavior didn’t change, but my response did.
I walked into meetings calm, prayed before speaking, and left each day with a lighter heart.
That’s the freedom boundaries bring: peace that doesn’t depend on other people’s behavior.
How Coaching Can Help
If you’re struggling to hold your peace in a stressful or toxic workplace, you don’t have to do it alone.
As a Christian Life Coach, I help women:
Identify emotional triggers and replace reactivity with truth and practical strategies to foster a peaceful life.
Develop confident communication rooted in truth and grace.
Build daily spiritual habits that keep them grounded in God’s Word—no matter who’s around them.
You can learn to show up with calm confidence, protect your energy, and honor God even when it’s hard.
Because the goal isn’t to win the argument It’s to keep your heart aligned with the One who fights for you.
If this spoke to you, take a deep breath. You’re not powerless. You’re being invited to peace.
