People Pleasing vs. God’s Approval: Why Boundaries Matter
“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” — Galatians 1:10
Have you ever gotten a text or call from someone and instantly felt dread? Like alarm bells going off in your chest? I know that feeling well.
For years, I had a “friend” who always seemed to stir up drama. She planned the best parties, gathered people together, and created the illusion of community. But beneath the surface, she thrived on gossip and deflecting blame. Every time she reached out, my stomach dropped. I knew I wasn’t safe around her, yet I was terrified of ending up on her bad side because I had seen what happened to others when they disappointed her.
So I kept answering. I kept saying yes. And all the while, my peace disappeared.
Looking back, I now recognize that “phone buzzing dread” as the Holy Spirit nudging me: You need to end this relationship. But I resisted. Why? Because I was afraid. Afraid of her disapproval. Afraid of what she might say about me. Afraid of what others might think.
Then one day, in His mercy, God spoke directly to my heart:
“Lynsie, you’re putting her approval over Mine.”
That moment was like a lightbulb. I realized I had given her the keys to my peace and I was letting her drive the car. If she texted or called, my entire mood shifted. Fear ruled my day. I couldn’t focus on work, my family, or God because I was consumed by her expectations.
But Galatians 1:10 warns us: we cannot serve both man’s approval and Christ.
Why We Fall into People Pleasing
If this story lands with you, you might share a similar background to mine. I grew up in a home where voicing my own opinions wasn’t safe. Love felt conditional. If I obeyed and kept quiet, I was accepted. If not, there were consequences.
Sadly, that pattern followed me into adulthood. When I was a brand new Christian, I believed that being a “good Christian woman” meant keeping the peace, making everyone happy, and always being agreeable. On the outside, I looked kind, but on the inside, I was exhausted.
What I didn’t know then was that my people-pleasing wasn’t kindness. It was actually a trauma response. And it was robbing me of peace, authentic friendships, joy, and the life God has planned for me.
The Truth About Boundaries
In His mercy, God began teaching me that boundaries aren’t selfish or unkind, they’re essential for the availability you need to walk in obedience to Him. Think about it… if God tells you to do something, but you’re too busy committing all of your time and thoughts to human expectations, you won’t walk in obedience. Yikes!
Boundaries are:
Clarity about what you will and won’t allow
Protection for the heart God entrusted to you
An act of honesty—with yourself and with others
Boundaries are not punishment. They are protection. They are the path to authentic obedience.
So why are they so hard? Because saying “no” feels like conflict. Because we fear rejection. Because we’ve been taught that our worth is tied to keeping other people happy.
Where We Need Boundaries
Boundaries are needed in every area of life. Sometimes they’re external (with others), and sometimes they’re internal (with ourselves).
With ourselves → how we steward time, health, wealth, and habits
With kids → guiding them in love while protecting our own energy
With spouses → building mutual respect, not quiet resentment
With parents or in-laws → especially where immaturity or manipulation shows up
With friends and coworkers → honoring values without guilt
Signs You Need Better Boundaries
You feel resentful after saying yes
You overexplain or defend your decisions
You feel anxious when someone texts or calls
You overcommit and end up drained
You wish people would just know what you need, but you can’t say it
If these sound familiar, your soul is craving healthy, God-honoring boundaries.
Why Coaching & Community Matter
It’s not enough to simply know you need boundaries. You need encouragement, accountability, and a safe place to practice them. That’s where coaching and community make all the difference.
Because life with boundaries looks different:
✨ More peace, less resentment
✨ More confidence, less guilt
✨ More clarity, less confusion
That’s why I created Boundary Babes—a free online community for Christian women who want to break free from people-pleasing, set healthy boundaries, and walk in God’s truth.
Inside, you’ll find:
🌸 Two free group calls each month
🌸 Free spotlight coaching
🌸 Faith + boundary-building exercises
🌸 A safe space to share and grow
👉 Ready to begin? Join Boundary Babes and start walking in the freedom God designed for you.
https://app.paperbell.com/checkout/packages/159928
Or, book a free Pathway to Peace call. Living empowered, God’s way - will change your life. Don’t wait another day!
